I wish I could be a that person to never leave you.

I wish I wasn’t that other person to. leave. you.

I want to be so much for you.

You’re so beautiful. You’re the perfect girlfriend. 

But all I can think about is my ex gf.

When we go to sleep, I wish that I’ll wake up to her and everything will have just been a bad dream.

I’m just not ready to give you my all. 

I’ve learned a lot in my 18 years on this planet. I’ve learned about ancient Mesopotamian culture and why the Pythagorean Theorem works. I’ve learned the difference between “you’re” and “you’re” and what a thesis statement is, and what a semicolon is used for. I’ve learned how every action has an equal and opposite reaction, how opposites attract, and I’ve learned how to properly operate a table saw, band saw, and automatic thickness planer.
But in the time that I’ve known you, I’ve learned so many things that are so much more important. I’ve learned what it’s like to be giddily smiling uncontrollably at text messages. I’ve learned what it’s like to anticipate meeting someone, then be left breathless at the goodnight hug at the end of the first date. I’ve learned that those famous fireworks really do exist, if you’re just kissing the right person. I’ve learned just how much I can miss someone, and how Skype, despite all its flaws, is the next-best thing. I’ve learned what it’s like to be proud of who I am and who I’m with. I’ve learned to count the days and hours until I can see you again. I’ve learned to open up and let someone in, to tear my walls down, without the fear of getting hurt again. I’ve learned what it’s like to fall asleep every night, hugging my pillow close because that’s right where I’d be holding you, and I’ve learned what it’s like to fall asleep to the sound of the rain on my roof, wishing for nothing but the chance to whisper, “Goodnight, my love, I’ll see you in the morning” into your ear, and wake up to do just that. I’ve learned what it’s like to fall in love, and it’s you who taught me all of this.
I can’t ever thank you enough for all that you’ve taught me, and I can never give you close to what you’ve given to me. I can give you myself, and my words, but I give them with all the honesty and promise that I have.
I can’t always be there to hold you, but I’ll do whatever I can when you need me to. I can’t always promise to completely understand what’s going and and what you’re going through, but I can promise to listen and do my best to. I can’t promise that this will be easy - it’s already not. But I can, and do, promise that I won’t give up.
I’ve learned what it’s like to have you light up my life like you do, and I don’t want to have to learn what it’s like to lose that light.
I love you, babe. 

4:23am. We usually sleep at this time when you were living with me. Now that you have to be back at your crib, I can’t even fall asleep. I want you hugging me from the back, with your arms around me, and me holding on to your hands, while you sink yourself at the back of my neck. I miss you, even though you haven’t been gone too long. Wish you would be back here soon.

I’m laying awake in bed without you right now and you’re fast asleep in yours a few towns over. I know it’s just one night and that it won’t kill me, but it still feels wrong trying to fall asleep without you here beside me after almost three months of having next to every night wether we’re at my place or your’s.

But I know you really needed this baby, and I know it’ll happen again. I love you so much and if being apart from you for a night helps you then in my eyes it helps us. 
Sleep tight love.

I know this sounds kind of crazy, but I’m writing to apologize for being me. Not the real me, exactly. It’s the nervous, impatient, ‘can-we-at-least-try-to-fill-the-silence?’ me. Maybe it’s the distance, maybe it’s my complete lack of social grace. Either way, I’m sorry.

I’d give anything to have you wrapped in my arms right now. And I promise you…I wouldn’t have to say a thing. I love you more than life, my darling Unicorn. I’ll always be yours.